In the excercises I had very interesting experiences. In the loving-kindness excercise I thought it was very beneficial as it had a carry over effect into the suble mind excercise here is what happened.
During the Subtle mind excercise I observed how my mind wanted to notice things, first my mind would move to the sound of the waves as I focused on my breath, then as I let it go and returned to my breath my mind heard seagulls and other birds 'at the ocean' then I returned to my focus (breath) and then I noticed my mind wanted to analyze what was happening, it was acting as if it were me in that it would say 'wonder why I heard birds? This is obviously a computerized ocean sound, my mind must want to find things' then I realized my mind had become 'alive' it thought it was someone it thought it was ME! I returned to my breath, then my mind started to analyze 'isn't it odd how the mind searches for anything to cling too? It searches for things to hear and see... it feeds on thinking, mulling things over and it always wants to be in a discussion?'
Then my mind thought a few other things before I returned the focus on my breath, then I had a visual of (the loving kindness mediation) and I felt how it feels to take in everyones suffering into my heart & my body wanted to cry, sadness came over me then my mind thought..."it's been transmuted" and I returned the focus to my breathing.
During one point I felt a glimpse of Being. Stillness. I was nothiing but I was... at the same time. Then my mind began to analyze this 'feeling' and the excercise ended...
As I found my mind analyzing I wondered 'what is this thinker within? Who is breathing this body? Who is directing the breaths? Is it this mind being who speaks all the time or is it the "I" am being found as stillness? Who is doing it? And I found myself deeply contemplating this after the session ended. The mind I see feeds on activity its as if it will die without doing something! But it is true it is always grasping as if it were a person drowning and grasping at anything that floats on by. And behind it all was an inner essence observing the obsurdity of this inner dialog my mind was having with itself.
It really is insanity if you really think about it. (Who is thinking about it? My mind who is grasping at something to mull over or this "I" ness who is very curious about the antics of the mind?).
I hope to hear from you and tell me if you noticed anything similar, like the mind becoming someone and thinking things as if it were a conscious entity and determining answers that it seemed quite satisfied with. I look forward to hearing from you all! Liz Hobby
Liz,
ReplyDeleteI am glad you had a great exercise. I found it hard keeping my thoughts on the exercise and not one my troubles. I think the next time I try this exercise I need to clear my mind.
Perhaps...
ReplyDeleteI know initially I had to really concentrate on the focal point and I chose my in-out breath and when ever I got lost in my thoughts I used my breath as my anchor point.
It helped. And then midway through the excercise the lady said to observe our thoughts and not focus so strongly on our focal points and after a few minutes I noticed a change and the thoughts just didn't matter so much and the distractions created through the thoughts and imagery my mind was handing out seemed distant and just didn't matter to me and they faded away. Now to be able to do this during the day when I'm walking about doing things... one step at a time I guess lol
Let me know how your next excercise goes will you. Best of luck. Liz H